The Hangover

Snow White, bitch I'm so hungover

March is a month full of celebrations- Holi, Purim, International Women’s Day, St Patrick’s Day, Mothering Sunday, the beginning of British Summer Time, and the chance to laugh at other people’s pain during Lent.

But too much of a good thing can be bad, and partying too hard can lead to dreadful hangovers.

Luckily, as we approach the end of the month when it all might be getting a bit too much, we can avail ourselves of plenty of the advice from pop culture on how to cure such awfulness!

prairie oyster, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Kim Tao drunk, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

When Tom was charged with convincing viola prodigy Kim that she didn’t want to give up it all up to become a comedian like him in order to save a business deal, wacky hijinks were bound to ensue. She ended up horribly drunk, with the gang trying to solve the situation ASAP. They decided to apply a classic hangover recipe- the prairie oyster.

It’s a disgusting sounding drink involving brandy, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, bitters, pepper, tomato sauce and a raw egg yolk. Unfortunately it doesn’t work well with people who are still drunk, probably because of the brandy, but it’s a worthwhile choice for the morning after the night before.

 sunglasses, Community

hungover Britta wearing sunglasses, Community episode 'Communication Studies'

Britta drunk dialing Jeff led to Jeff and Abed getting plastered so that Jeff could embarrass himself and thus redress the balance of the group. (Think the Friends episode where Chandler accidentally sees Rachel naked, but drunker.) Britta, Jeff and Abed all deal with their hangovers by wearing sunglasses (a necessary part of hangover style apparently, and appropriate given how ridiculously bright Greendale seems to be) and carrying around oversized containers of liquid. Vast quantities of coffee or juice (and quite possibly gasoline in Abed’s case) can just about solve anything.

throwing up, Supernatural

Sam Winchester hungover, Supernatural episode 'Playthings'

Dean was an absolute dick to his poor hungover baby brother, advising “a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray”. Bleugh. This seems to be from the Twin Peaks school of hangover cures- disgusting people so much that they throw up. At least that’ll get the alcohol out of your system I suppose! And when you’re done with that, the bacon (without the cigarette ash coating) might be a good idea. Apparently a full English breakfast is great for a hangover, and if Rihanna thinks so then it must be true.

a greasy tuna melt and a milkshake, How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother cast with food and drink

As future-narrator-Ted pointed out, everyone has their own special remedy for a hangover, in Lily’s case it’s the greasy tuna melt and milkshake. She seems pretty smart, and so I’d be prepared to try out her ideas. Ted, on the other hand, thinks that gravy is the answer. Given how annoying and stupid he tends to be I wouldn’t generally be prepared to listen to his advice. However, gravy is an important ingredient in chicken fried steak which might be good for hangovers, so perhaps he has a point. For once.

wake-up juice, Back to the Future Part III

Wake-up juice, Back to the Future Part III

The third Back to the Future film is woefully underrated. IT HAS COWBOY HATS IN IT, WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? And when the Doc passed out from drinking (one) whiskey back in the Old West past, he was given some spicy-sounding wake-up juice, which will apparently sober you up much more quickly than just about anything. Marty funneled the concoction into the Doc’s mouth (as well as blocking his nose with a clothes peg) and it worked. Fast. Still, the Doc seemed to miss Tylenol, so it may not be a pain-free option.

Klatchian coffee, Discworld

bubbling coffee

Klatchian coffee is so strong that imbibing it causes people to become disastrously knurd, which is a state that’s sort of equal and opposite to drunkenness. It essentially allows the (foolish) drinker to see the world as it really is, in all its harrowing glory, with every illusion painfully stripped away. So while Klatchian coffee can, in a way, offset the effects of alcohol, it’s also probably wise to not have any of this caffeinated sludge unless you’ve got enough alcohol in your system to deal with the horrific knurd state you’ll end up in. Vicious cycle, yo.

IV drip, Scrubs

JD, Turk and Spence from Scrubs all hooked up to IV drips

Hooking yourself up to an IV drip of, I don’t know, water and salt and sugar and spice and everything nice etc, not only replenishes what you’ve lost due to your hangover, it saves you from having to work up the energy to do complicated things, like lift a cup to your mouth, or remember how to swallow. And if the laudable medical professionals of Scrubs thought it was a good plan, it must be! I mean you’ve got to trust them, even if they do seem to have crippling drinking problems, they’re doctors!

water, Cougar Town

Jules, Cougar Town, hungover and dunking her head in the swimming pool

Jules’s attempt to re-live her twenties (upon realising that she’d missed out on them, what with getting pregnant and then raising her son) got messy fast. Having fun with pancakes and cops is all very well at the time, but then the next day hits. Not only was Jules suddenly burdened by a crippling hangover, she couldn’t even nap and relax, as demands on her time and attention kept cropping up. Her coping strategies were very wet, she tried dunking her head in the pool to cool down, and when she later got thirsty on the way to the mailbox she was happy to drink copiously from the hose pipe. Smart woman, water does help with dehydration after all.

hair of the dog, Withnail and I

Withnail and I

One particularly inventive way to avoid a hangover is to simply never stop drinking. You can get over the effects of alcohol by applying more alcohol to the problem!

You can achieve this by emulating Withnail and Marwood:

Warning: may result in death.

ginger beer, Pop Culture Playpen

I am quite certain that we here at PCP know about the ultimate hangover cure. And we’re willing to share! Aren’t we nice? The answer is a wonderfully combination of sugar, carbonation, water and ginger: ginger beer makes everything in life better, trust. For best results it should probably be accompanied by a greasy breakfast And perhaps a nap. Enjoy!

Have you got other suggestions for making a dreaded hangover go away? Tell us your secrets!

6 thoughts on “The Hangover

  1. So THAT’S why you’re always drinking gingerbeer, huh?! Tis so so true. I tend to go for lucozade. Or a magical fruit smoothie called Green Machine which looks like sludge but cures all problems IN THE WORLD.

    Also, I know someone’s going to be a forever friend when they also think the third Back to the Future was underrated. That might be my friendship vetting process from now on.

    • Ginger beer is good for everything! Tiredness, thirst, Stockholm syndrome, mixing with rum, phantom limbs…

      BACK TO THE FUTURE 3 IS SO GOOD. YOU HAVE IMPECCABLE TASTE. *TWIRLS YOU*

  2. I still prefer Back to the Future 2! Then again, when I last watched 3 I didn’t have quite the appreciation for cowpokes that I do now…

    My friendship vetting process is tentatively Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes – as in people CANNOT like it… but a shocking amount of existing friends do think it’s the bee’s knees.

    Can someone get me Fat Coke please?

    • I can’t bring myself to move again. Feel free to bring (cherry) coke to me though. Not Sherlock Holmes. Never Sherlock Holmes.

  3. Pingback: Searchin’ every which a-way « Pop Culture Playpen

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