Top 40

Happy Women’s Day!

It’s also the start of Lent, for which this year, having mostly quit smoking already, I am giving up misogyny.

If you would like to do this too, here are daily activities for the duration of Lent to keep us all focused.

Lent 2011 starts the day after Pancake Day, which is Wednesday 9th March. It continues for 46 days until Saturday 23rd April.

In Western Christianity Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and concludes on Holy Saturday. The six Sundays in Lent are not counted among the forty days of Lent because each Sunday represents a “mini-Easter”, a celebration of Jesus.

If you feel that you do need activities for each Sunday during feminist Lent you may meditate and practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

And of course, make the pledge: swear off Disney porn for the duration of Lent.

1. Clean Monday (Monday, March 7, 2011)

This has already happened, but, see it as the missed opportunity to get all that misogyny out of your system. Oh well, your bad.

2. Tuesday, March 8, 2011

PANCAKE DAY!

Make pancakes in the shape of lady parts. Feel the awakening as you move down the path away from misogyny, beating the ceremonial pancake batter. Let the milk be the blood of feminists, the flour be the body of feminists, and the eggs be, like, people-eggs. From ovaries.

3. Ash Wednesday (Wednesday, March 9, 2011)

Begin your Lent. Look around you for all the items in your life that influence you away from the feminist path. Recycle your Hollyoaks calendar, etc. Give the stilettos you will never wear to charity. Get rid of every dress you have in case you drop a size; you’re lovely at this size. Lovely! Clear out and begin anew. If you identify as a man of course you may want to at this stage acquire some dresses and stilettos, or you may not, it’s up to you- it’s your Lent.

Beginners may like to Google feminism and misogyny at this time.

Also, for those in London, demonstrate to help stop cuts and privatisation in the NHS- Day X for the NHS is Wednesday 9th March. Meet 5pm outside Royal London Hospital (Whitechapel tube station) for March to St Barts.

4. Thursday, March 10, 2011

Keep reminding yourself that you are not a misogynist. Respect women. Notice their faces.

5. Friday, March 11, 2011

If you’re in London attend a lovely talk from Kat Banyard of UKFeminista at UCL 12:00pm – 1:30pm Location: 26 Bedford Way, G03

6. Saturday, March 12, 2011

Mother’s march! Assemble 12 noon Trafalgar Square- fight the cuts and appreciate mums!

7. First Sunday of Lent (Sunday, March 13, 2011)

Practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

8. Monday, March 14, 2011

Make pie. The date is 3.14 making it pi(e) day, like maths. Baking is one of the traditional female skills and we should value lady crafts. Extra points for embroidering pictures of pie.

9. Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Thank all your friends who inspire you on your path. Make cards for your feminist icons and tell them why they inspire you so.

10. Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Watch Vera Drake, it’s really good.

11. Feast of Saint Patrick (Thursday, March 17, 2011)

Fight commercialism by organising a clothes swap for all your friends. Have tugs of war over clothes and Guinness. Save money by not going shopping, spend it on a moon cup.

12. Friday, March 18, 2011

Begin reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.

13. Feast of Saint Joseph (Saturday, March 19, 2011)

It’s time to get educated on mooncups and femmecups! They’re really, really great and there’s nothing to be afraid of. if you don’t have periods, read up anyway and tell your friends so that they can love their mooncup too. Today is also Holi, and the next day’s Purim. Throw coloured dye and drink in celebration!

14. Second Sunday of Lent (Sunday, March 20, 2011)

Practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

15. Monday, March 21, 2011

It’s sticker time! Any normal labels from a post office or stationery shop will do. Write ‘offensive to women’ and peel and stick every time a tube advert or anything else irritates.

16. Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Watch an old episode of either Buffy or Dawson’s Creek. Make into a feminist drinking game as you wish.

17. Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Begin saying and writing ‘he or she’ as ‘she or he’ and ‘men and women’ as ‘women and men’.

18. Thursday, March 24, 2011

Challenge someone’s expectations- break gender norms and enjoy it.

19. The Annunciation of the Lord (Friday, March 25, 2011)

Watch Teeth.

20. Saturday, March 26, 2011

Attend the TUC demonstration against government cuts. Assemble Victoria Embankment, 11am to march to a rally in Hyde Park. Sleepover in the park for the very dedicated- resent the cuts extra on grounds of women.

21. Third Sunday of Lent (Sunday, March 27, 2011)

Practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

22. Monday, March 28, 2011

Make a playlist of feminist songs. Burn copies for everybody. If you would like to enter my feminist playlist competition please email me at emma.kosmin@yahoo.com with the subject ‘independent woman’ and be in with a chance of winning a copy of Germaine Greer’s The Whole Woman.

23. Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Make a feminism wall somewhere in your house or in a public space. Use pictures of all your favourite feminists and look up facts on gender inequality to make your wall educational.

24. Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Have a frank, honest conversation about periods. They give you creative energy and get you in touch with emotions, which is only weakness in a male-defined world. They shouldn’t be a taboo subject, they mean you can grow people inside you, which is just crazy. And think about the amount of media and conversation time devoted to men’s bodily fluids.

25. Thursday, March 31, 2011

Listen to your playlist while dancing with a woman you love and respect.

26. Friday, April 1,2011

Dress a boy baby in pink.

27. Saturday, April 2, 2011

Annotate a copy of the local paper with comments explaining why parts of it are offensive to women. Allow ticks and smiley faces where equality is promoted. Leave in public.

28. Fourth Sunday of Lent (Laetare Sunday) (Sunday, April 3, 2011)

Practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

Also, today is Mothering Sunday, another chance to appreciate mums, and, also, my mum’s birthday. Bizarrely, also Miss Thropist’s mum’s birthday.

Do not forget grandmothers on mother’s day.

29. Monday, April 4, 2011

Watch Sex and the City, especially episodes dealing with abortion, periods, menopause, sex, childrearing, and, well, any episode.

30. Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Reclaim female crafts: sew, cook, bake, darn, knit, give birth.

31. Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Make amends- think of your previous life as a misogynist and the people you may have hurt. Say sorry, and hope for forgiveness.

32. Thursday, April 7, 2011

Enjoy some vagina painting:

Paint your own or someone else’s (on to paper), but only if that someone else consents.

33. Friday, April 8, 2011

Rewrite some traditional stories to make feminist fairytales. This is fun with children and adults, but most fun with puppets.

34. Saturday, April 9, 2011

Have a feminist movie night with all your new feminist friends and your newly feminist ones. Watch Through the Glass Ceiling or 10 Things I Hate About You. Enjoy. EAT.

35. Fifth Sunday of Lent (Passion Sunday) (Sunday, April 10, 2011)

Practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

36. Monday, April 11, 2011

Cross-dress.

37. Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Look into self-defence classes.

38. Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Look into rape alarms.

39. Thursday, April 14, 2011

Campaign for more healthy sized models/send a supermodel a sandwich.

40. Friday, April 15, 2011

Identify gaps in the language that you use. When meeting new people do you ask if they have a partner, or do you use a gender bound term such as boyfriend? Do you say police man or police officer? Do you ever say ‘that’s so gay’? (If you do, just stop it, you’re being a dick.)

41. Saturday, April 16, 2011

Watch Better than Chocolate, and update your feminist play list to include ‘I’m not a fucking drag queen’.

42. Palm Sunday (Sunday, April 17, 2011)

Practice your mantra ‘I must not be a misogynist, I must not be a misogynist’.

43. Monday, April 18, 2011

Find a big marker pen in a dark colour, you will need it to go find a page 3 in a paper in a public place and draw an outfit on that lady!

44. Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Rearrange magazines in newsagents so that the most offensively gendered magazines are hidden behind the least.

45. Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Write a really angry letter about something, anything.

Pick an issue affecting women in current affairs at the moment and tell your MP, so that s/he knows how to represent you.

46. Holy Thursday (Thursday, April 21, 2011)

Go dancing! If any man treats any woman inappropriately tell him he’s a dick.

47. Good Friday (Friday, April 22, 2011)

Find out about women’s groups in your area. Find out what you can do and how you can help.

48.  Holy Saturday (Saturday, April 23, 2011)

Watch Glee! Lots of it.

Welcome to the end of Lent, happy Easter, and enjoy your new you.

Stay off that misogyny. It’s worse than crack.

6 thoughts on “Top 40

  1. I adore this so much, my dear Ms Elaine, but I must say it’s really not very Jewish.

  2. HA! ‘People Eggs’
    Shame there’s nothing to vote on. That’s very pro woman. Maybe…vote on polls online.

    I very much enjoyed this. Huzzah! Plus, I totally want a righteous blade of equality t-shirt.

    And I think you should start a blog on how to do stuff so you feel like a good person. If I did all this I not only would feel like a good person, I would have a freakin’ blast.

  3. Pingback: Dry your eyes, Sunday girl « Pop Culture Playpen

  4. Pingback: Sunday best and worst « Pop Culture Playpen

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