Miss Day’s cartoon husbands rollcall got me pondering an alternative list for the civil partnership gang so to speak. Here’s my Top Ten, no jokes about queens please!

10. Fred – Scooby Doo

Well it pays to hedge your bets. At worst, he’s metrosexual. And think of all those fabulous products and accessories you could borrow…

9. Mrs. Doubtfire

Who could resist a loving granny with a little surprise. (Well hopefully not that little – eeek I have become a size queen!)

8. Mr Tickle – Mr. Men

‘Nuff said.

7. Mavis Cruet – Willo the Wisp

Us boys love a fairy, especially one with weight challenges. Everybody loves a tryer, no to mention she actually looks like a stunted drag queen.

6. Bert and Ernie – Sesame Street

Bert and Ernie, a threesome made in heaven. Also, if they annoy you, you can fold them up and stuff them back in the closet.

5. He-Man - He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

A golden god in hot pants that rides a huge furry pussy. Nonetheless, he’s definitely a gayer.

4. Spiderman

Buns of steel, free transport and has a day job. Fab.

3. Silver Surfer

He’s cool as!! Studly, surfs and can make things out of ice. Let’s hope if things get hot he doesn’t melt away.

2. Wolverine

Fit, feisty, handy in the kitchen with his knife fingers, a tad hairy but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr all the way.  Nothing that Vidal Sassoon could not sort out.

1. Batman

Oh yes, now we are talking! Tall, dark mysterious with a flexible rubber-clad mate. Muscles everywhere, loaded with cash, hot cars and bikes, lives in a giant mansion, and has a butler. HOT HOT HOT pheweeeeeee.